A break

Loss has seemed to take a big toll in my life in the past 8 months more than it ever has before. These months contain the most hurt i’ve ever felt, the most tears i’ve shed, and my most physically and mentally exhausting days. Not only have I lost my best friends and those closest to me, I lost sight of my God, and i’ve lost sight of myself. I don’t remember how to love myself, and I plan to love me as much as I used to. I don’t remember how not to shut people out, and I want to let people in. I don’t remember how to love my life and everything around me and I want to remember all of these things. 
The past 8 months have also been the most i’ve ever loved. I gave somebody my all and loved them with my whole being. But they also left. Loving people can hurt just as much as losing them. And now I have got to love myself and put myself before others, even if it makes me seem a little selfish. 

I’ve been the loneliest I think I have ever been, and in a bit of a funk. I haven’t photographed anyone or anything in over a month, or picked up my guitar more than 3 times and I need time. Who knows, I may take more pictures and write more than ever during this small hiatus. I will still update my blog, and take pictures of my adventures and friends, but, it may only be seldom as I try to fix myself, see my friends and find my Jesus again. 

Don’t Fall in Love With Me

Don’t fall in love with me, or i’ll write about the scars on your shoulder, and the way your collarbone curves like your smile. And sometimes i’ll pay attention to the little hair that falls onto your forehead before you dishevel it back with the rest, other than the words flooding from your mouth. Don’t fall in love with me, because i’ll love all the places on your body that you struggle to love yourself; i’ll kiss every bump and scratch to help the hurting memory fade, but I won’t let it get too far because these are the things that have helped shape you into who you are today. I may pour you a cup of coffee, knowing you prefer tea, so please don’t fall in love with me.