His fingers felt different
while they traced my skin
almost like yours used to
and his lips were a different kind of soft- as if he was scared that my dry ones may crumble and break?
his arms wrapped around me securely and
I was still numb, but I wasn’t thinking of you
it was only when I allowed someone else to take me to galaxies once familiar to you and i
to let inside my world and see the constellations made up on my freckled body,
when I realized that my world doesn’t orbit around you
We learn, grow and heal fom our different experiences. That is one thing I have been trying to understand now more than ever. Something I have been anticipating for years now has been my very first tattoo. What would I get? Why would I get it? And where would I place it? Now i’ve never been one to believe that every tattoo must have a meaning, but for however long I can remember flowers have been so so important to me. Flowers symbolize growth. They grow big and tall, sometimes wilt because they’re not properly taken care of, much like us, but they grow beautiful again. They leave seeds here and there and allow more and more growth among the fields and garden around them. They never truly stop growing, and neither do we..
So never stop growing and loving and sharing that growth and love with others.
I’ve grown and i’m still growing.
Every new daylight
patches up the sleepless night before it
and with every passing moment
that i haven’t heard the familiar ‘I love you’
i sink deeper and deeper
into a pool of my own hurt
and i can’t catch my breath
so i keep sinking
and i let my body rest unmoving
because maybe drowning
will feel better than this hurt
or maybe i’m expecting you to pull me back to surface
Loss lingers longer than love lasts
I am the sulking petals
And i am the wilting flower
No longer looking towards light
And no longer blooming
and i overlove
and maybe that was too much
but all i’ve ever wanted to be
As toxic as it is, we love those who only love us in pieces
they love the serene and the beautiful parts
and they’ll love your body
but they’ll reject the part of you that is stuck in a whirling storm
drowning and gasping for air
and thats the part of you that needs love the most.
Your heart will weap when the salt in my eyes tell the story of us.
And I’ll want you to wrap me in your arms and help me re-write our story, but you won’t.